What I Learned in 2007

Looking back, I can say that 2007 was the year I learned some life-changing lessons.

1) Self-integrity is an important to of the design of life in the same way that good art is art that is true to itself.
2) Imagination is paramount to progress and should be indulged in every day, and the minds-eye audience plays an enormous role in how we function in life and as creators.
3) Charity involving true self-sacrifice, contrary to popular belief, is not morally superior to charity you participate in because you get something of equal value in return (material or immaterial), in fact the opposite is true.
4) Our western diet of incredible amounts of refined sugar combined with our over-use of antibiotics and anti-bacterial everything is literally killing us and cultivating the diseases and pains we take pills for.
5) The U.S. dollar is tanking in value and will continue to do so, but the real currency of value is energy both for the globe and the individual. Each of us carries a life-energy currency with us and those with life-energy deficits will seek us out and find a way to steal from us. Guard your life-energy in the same way you might guard your pocketbook, at the very least. Beware of thieves. As far as monetary currency goes, economists all over are projecting a return to basic materials. Ladies, save your silver, it is expected to double in value as the dollar gets weaker and weaker as U.S. becomes the new ‘Mexico’ to the rest of the world.

I believe 2008 will begin an amazing journey that will be a spiritual awakening for all of mankind. Chances are, you have already started to see the shift as people who were formerly very religious are now tossing aside their beloved faith doctrines for life as a mere spiritualist (like myself). This is because we have been going through a time of disillusionment. Curse the Bush Administration as much as you want, but they fit into the long-term picture for one good reason which is this: they have been an awakening to all Americans to question all positions and doctrines held under a “blind faith” principal. We can see now, more clearly than ever, that if a religion or a government (and for much of the world this is one and the same) can get you to subscribe to a doctrine on faith alone, they have you by the balls. You might blow up the World Trade Center for your faith or you might blow up and abortion clinic for your faith. These are extremes, of course, but the point is, today is it far more obvious that both religion and politics are used to manipulate large groups of people with much success for the benefit of a select powerful few.

To me, religion breeds hypocrisy, because it imposes unnatural laws over natural ones. From the moment I graduated college, I started moving away from religion. It was a gradual process. I even took continuing education alongside Moody students as a last ditch effort to try and make a square peg fit into a round hole – justify Christianity as the one true religion. I still couldn’t. At the heart of my doubt was this philosophical dilemma (being a person of logic, it was only natural to wonder): Why would an all powerful, all-knowing, sovereign, deity create mankind with sin nature if the wages of sin are death and man was created for God’s pleasure? Now, the romantic Christian answer is that God wanted us to have choice to worship him because it is far more pleasurable for a being to worship out of choice than out of duty- which is also why we are not robots. Really? Because if the wage of sin is death, that’s not really a viable choice now, is it? See, as an artist, I cannot fathom creating something beautiful for my pleasure that has a built-in mechanism that can cause it to self-destruct before my very eyes. That seems sick and wrong to me. No, as an artist, I would create something with specific natural function in mind. In fact, a person wanting to know the way to property utilize the creation, one might study its very form and nature to conceive the concept behind its purpose. So, for this reason, I looked at my Bible, the new testament of which I had studied in its native Koine Greek language, and asked myself how a book made up of documents scribed by people hundreds of years removed from the very characters it speaks of and the contents of which were decided by a Nicene Council in a time where religion and politics were nearly one and the same, was going to tell me more about the Creator than the very creation itself. And that’s when I decided that religion of any kind, being man’s interpretation of the relationship between man and God, will be inherently flawed. For me, for Christianity to be true, would be like saying, God created the world, allowed man the choice to fall and then and after he did, He (the Patriarchal Trinity Himself) whispered to a bunch of people on the same side of the earth to create the most confusing and conflicting manual detailing the way man can find his way out of his chosen mess to save his soul. Oh, and he made sure other, completely different manuals were available to make the challenge even more exciting. Add Lucifer running around to trip people up every now and again and there you pure entertainment. I imagine the Christian Godhead, relaxing in his comfy robe reclining on an overstuffed cloud (perhaps munching on a big bag o' buttered manna), watching the largest reality-show ever produced play out to see which team wins and which players souls survive given all the crazy obstacles put in place. The people with the most faith in the right manual win immunity from eternal damnation. Uh…no thanks.

So, I’ll stick with studying the creation, complex masterpiece that it is, because there’s a lot of good stuff there and it’s logical. It can’t be ignored that enough patterns exist to suggest intelligent design of some sort. Also, I have no doubt we are spiritual beings; this is evident in so many ways and science is just now catching up to support this. My current beliefs can be summed up in this statement: All truth is God’s truth no matter what form God takes and the truth must be evident in the natural design.

And since, last I checked, the term saved is synonymous with rescued, when asked by wide-eyed, bible-toting boys on the street if I am saved, my answer is still a resounding, "Yes!" Perhaps now more than ever.

May you find blessings in abundance in 2008!

- jen

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Give it up for Tori!

December 12th. San Diego concert. Code Red.

She stops the concert and tells obnoxious audience members in the front row to get the fuck out of her show. Reports say they were taking photos of each other with their cell phone and getting up and down multiple times to buy beer in the middle of the song.

"These are my seats. I give them to people who like music. So, get the fuck out."

Reason #76 that I like this woman.

Front row seats are reserved for fans Tori picks out of the audience who were previously in a back row seat as a surprise upgrade. Kudos to her sticking up for herself and the fans who would have relished a front-seat opportunity.

If this happened to rude audience members at most concerts or stage productions or movie theaters, the world would be a better place. I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to kick an audience member out of a performance/film venue who has no clue how to behave respectfully during a performance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vijGGRN3P8&feature=related
begin around minute 2:28

Rock on, T.

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The Upside of Obsessions and My Resolution

I’ve been having a tough time lately deciding where to put my writing energy. I have ideas all over the place for reworking my novel, for a few different non-fiction books, for some creative non-fiction short stories, and every now and then an idea for a screenplay. But the problem is that an idea is not enough. In order to sustain a writing project, I need to be obsessed with the story or topic or characters enough to actually finish. The writings I’ve brought to completion have had some element of obsession associated with the creative process, so much so that I had the feeling that the story or idea chose me versus me choosing it.

Examples:

My poem In the Nursery of Now was written because I was walking across my college campus on the way to class when the phrase Mother Goose’s illegitimate son entered my mind. From that point, I became obsessed with playing with nursery rhymes, exploring the darker side of the characters found in these, hence the development of that piece. It was as if I had to put together a puzzle until it was exactly complete.

For my poem The Letters I was staying at a friend’s apartment and awoke in the middle of the night having visions of these letters being distributed by air and water and discovered and read by complete strangers. The images were so strong, they haunted me, and every time I tried to close my eyes to sleep, I would see the vision. Soon, the vision was accompanied by haunting words. They came so fast, like a flood; I had to get up out of bed and pen them to paper to ‘release them.’ It was very intense and ultimately cathartic.

The Fountain, a more recent poem (not yet published), was written after images accessed during a meditation exercise in a yoga class and they wouldn’t leave me, so I knew I needed to write something. The entire poem developed on the return from the class and I put it to paper as soon as I got home.

My full-length play, Le Chalet d’Orchadia began with the desire to write a play and explore two characters and a setting that I wanted to explore in writing. Many years prior, I had had a small obsession with orchids born out of catching a Nova special about orchid thieves on PBS; I longed to write about orchids and orchid obsessions. However, very soon after, the film Adaptation was released and I thought I couldn’t write about orchids so soon after for fear it would seem unoriginal. When I decided to write Le Chalet, I decided enough time had elapsed to include orchids in a story, but I didn’t know exactly what the story was or how it would end. I only knew it involved orchids, the caretaker of these orchids, a ballerina with FMS, and would be set exclusively in a greenhouse. Once I started writing, however, the characters took over. They talked to each other in my head all day long- sometimes at inappropriate times when I really needed to concentrate on other things. I was scribbling notes on everything from envelopes, to post-its, to magazines, to napkins just to get down bits of their dialogue. While I could relate to each of the characters in different ways, and also to their relationship somewhat, I was still very much along for the ride. I didn’t release them until the end was written.

So, my issue now is that I know I need to get my ass in gear on another project, but which direction? I feel I need to cultivate a sustainable obsession, but my ideas are all over the map right now, I feel pulled in all sorts of directions. Do I have obsessions lately? Sure - just not anything driving me to cohesive writing productivity. So, my goal is this, and I feel I need to announce it publicly:

Beginning January 8th I will write something and not stop until I finish.
If it’s poetry, it will be to the end of my next poetry publication. And if it’s reworking my novel, it will be reworking it to the end to have a complete new draft. And if another play or screenplay rears its lovely head? So be it. Beginning January 8th, I will simply begin until I end it, working on a regular basis and not stopping to work on anything else (of course, I still have to tend to my dayjob, my dog, pilates, etc - but I mean I will buckle down on the writing productivity and focus it). It is my only resolution for the new year. Author Isabel Allende will be starting her newest novel on the same day; it's her yearly ritual. She has made January 8th her sacred day of starting a new book and I’ve decided to join her. She’s a master at channeling and weaving great stories- the kind you can never guess the ending to- and she never writes with an outline, it just flows. So, in an effort to share in that spirit- the spirit of creative flow- I will begin on the 8th and take comfort in knowing that I am in fabulous company, embarking a new creative journey.

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Political eHarmony

Found this link to be interesting.
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/Vote2008/page?id=3623346

Answer a series of mutiple choice questions and get matched with your ideal candidates.

Here were my top three candidates based on my Q & A choices:

1) Mike Gravel (Democrat)
2) Dennis Kucinich (Democrat)
3) Ron Paul (Republican, but really, more Libertarian these days)

I didn't really know much about Mike Gravel, but I am interested to learn more about him now.

I figured Ron Paul might make the tally, though. I have do libertarian tendancies in my viewpoints. It kills me that he's running as a Republican (now that Republican means something entirely different than what the party's original intent was). I know that's a more politically strategic choice than anything else. I can't help but respect a guy who voted against the Iraq War, against the Patroit Act, and against internet regulations.

And, Kucinich? He makes me laugh. I don't think he has a shot in hell, but I do think he's got some great ideas and a fun sense of humor. I would prefer him to Hillary, for sure.

I like the idea of having a candidate matched to people's own opinions current issues. Otherwise, your vote is based on a commercial sell, likely within the party your are already married to. I am not registered as Republican or Democrat, because I belive both parties have innate flaws. Of the more popular candidates, I like Obama. Politically, he still has some adjustments to make. I don't buy the argument against him that he doesn't have enough experience, though. Experience in what? Having his hands in corporate pockets? I know many experienced people in life that I wouldn't trust my freedom to because they are experienced in being manipulative.

To me, the Republican party and Democratic party are two heads of the same monster. The real reason we will never have a President worthy of the job is that the ones smart enough to pull it off are also smart enough not to want the job in the first place.

So, take the quiz and let me know who your proposed ideal 3 are. I'm curious to see if anyone is surprised by the results.

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This Week's Favorite Quotes

“Ribbon poses choking hazard.”
Fine print on the gold-foil-wrapped, chocolate reindeer I found on my desk this morning.

“Excuse me; I’ve got gifts to buy.”
Holiday manipulated version of Jimi Hendrix’s Purple Haze lyrics, played on WXRT.

“Margarine is one molecule away from being plastic.”
From one of those chain-email warnings being circulated.

Girl 1 (with enthusiasm): “Wow! Can you believe it’s snowing outside?”
Girl 2 (deadpan): “Yes. It’s December; I kind of expected it.”
Overheard in the elevator at the office.

“This is gay.”
Written on a frosted window of the Holiday Bus on my commute. Note: The Holiday Bus is an interior decorated bus complete with flashing holiday lights, hanging ornaments, candy-striped railings and loud, obnoxious holiday music.

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